All about *YOU*

I feel that our relationship just isn't what it used to be. We used to be a TEAM. If someone opposed us, we stuck together and stuck up for EACH OTHER, even if we didn't agree with the other.

So much has changed in how it used to be. I miss it. We aren't a team of any kind anymore. We are tttttt seperate familys, living in the same house. All we do is fight. And even when I try to talk to you about anything, you just call your Mom. I feel like I am in a 3-way relationship with your mother. I really thought going into marriage that is was a union between two people, not three.
But in this case, I was wrong....

Here's how it ALWAYS goes, I do something that "pisses you off"  You go outside, after yelling and or throwing a fit, call your Mommy, and then proceed to talk shit about me, degrade me, and just pretty much tell her every single detail of our relationship over the course of an hour. In the meantime I am inside, because just because I am mad, or hurt, or whatever I am, I still take care of my responsibility's, which include cleaning up after your dinner, taking care of our son, etc. Just because I am mad doesnt mean I get to just walk off and go be mad for an hour or two like it does for you.

You dont ever spend any time with me, other than to bitch at me and then walk out the door. And you spend even less with our son. Isn't it funny how we have NEVER fought enough to make you leave, until after you've had dinner, and Nathan wakes up from his nap. Conicidence? I doubt it. I feel like you get "mad" as an excuse to not do a damn thing except work. I have to ASK YOU to even watch him long enough for me to cook dinner or take a shower!!!! You NEVER offer, even though you know we've had a rough day, going on two hours of sleep with a fussy and high needs in general baby. As  I said, its ALL ABOUT YOU.  I bet you've never had to decide between sleep and a shower. Or even weigh out ok, well maybe I can go to the bathroom without him fussing long enough to at least take a sink bath. I know you haven't. Know why? Because its ALL ON ME!

Yes, I know parenthood is hard. But when I got pregnant, I thought we would be a TEAM in parenthood. Instead, every day I feel more and more like a single parent. You have put him to bed FIVE times his ENTIRE LIFE! 5! Thats pathetic. And for 5 months, you werent even working and STILL did little to help with him. But now that you work, you literally do NOTHING with him. Even on your off day, Its like pulling teeth to get you to watch him long enough for me to do anything. I am sick of it.

You hold money that "you work for" over my head. You have a "family" savings but I as your wife and supposed to be PARTNER dont have access to it. and You wont allow me to have my own either.  You control every aspect of the money. I dont even see a pay stub to know how much money we do have.  Because you worked for it and I didn't. Really? You think that I just sit around all day? It's no wonder that you think that, since to you, parenthood is easy. Wanna know WHY it's easy?
Because I DO IT ALL!
I give him his bottles, I give him his bath, I make his food, I feed him, I clean him up after he eats, I go through the two hour long bedtime routine. I take care of him when hes sick. I get up every 2 hours to feed him and pat him back to sleep, and I have for almost 10 months. I dont even remember what sleeping for 6 or 8 hours straight is anymore. I rock him when he's teething or feels bad.  And what do you do?  You come in, say hey, make him smile and hold him for 2 minutes then hand him back to me so that you can watch tv and go to bed and get your 8 hours. It's funny. For almost ten months now, I havent had the PRIVILEDGE of sleeping 8 hours, but yet, you get it almost every night. All I can say is it must be nice.... If Im gonna be on my own, and have everything on me like a single parent, then  I might as well live like one. At this point, the only change would be that I wouldnt have to fight every night, and cook dinner and wash for two people,