The other day, a very dear friend of mine found out that she had lost her child. She was around 7 weeks along, but it was so hard on her, and in talking to her, I discovered that I had never fully recovered from losing our babygirl. I have NEVER before wrote this story, or even told details of all that happened that day, and I am hoping by doing this, it will help heal my soul.
One day, I was at my apartment, and started
having the worst period cramps I had ever felt in my life. I got into the
bathtub to try to ease my pain, but it got a million times worse. At that
point, I couldn't even move. The pain was crippling. I couldn't even get out of
the bathtub to make it to my cell phone to call 911. The pain finally subsided enough that I stood
up to try to get out of the bathtub when suddenly I was hit with the worst
"cramp" yet, and suddenly began gushing blood. I could only half sit
and half stand and cry and scream. It was to date, the worst pain I have ever
felt. Then, i feel like my insides are being ripped out, and a huge mass comes
out of me. I felt it drop, and the pain subsided some. I dug around in the
blood filled bathtub, still gushing blood at an alarming rate. I pulled out a
developed sak of amniotic fluid with the bag intact holding a precious little
girl about the size of my hand. I had no idea I was pregnant. I sat in the
bathroom and sobbed my heart out. I eventually made it to the kitchen with my
phone, and called Tim. I told him I needed to
cancel our plans for the day because I was taking myself to the
hospital, and that I had had a miscarriage. He only lived about 5 minutes away,
and made it there in less than 2 minutes. When he walked in, I had a towel
between my legs, standing in the kitchen floor sobbing, and screamed that I
couldn't stop bleeding long enough to get pants on to go to the hospital. I
believe I was literally in shock, due to blood loss.I believe at that point, he
was a little in shock himself because my apartment looked like the scene of a
massacre. He immediatly said "I'm calling an ambulance. He called 911, and
they advised him to make me lie down. I did, but was still having contractions
where I would hemmorage with every one. The fire dept arrived before the
ambulance, and because I was hemhorraging, they went ahead and started an IV.
The ambulance arrived, threw a sheet over me, and took off for the hospital. My
memory's on that are fuzzy at best. I don't know if I was going in and out of
consciousness, or what, but I only remember bits and pieces after that. I
remember my head was spinning, and things would just go dim. By the time we got to the hospital, my
bleeding had slowed down alot, but was still pretty bad. The entire hospital
bed was SOAKED in blood, as well as the pads beneath me, etc. I was still
gushing a substantial amount. Eventually, after Blaine pulled my sheet back and
saw the whole bed soaked, he demanded a doctor(we had been there almost 2
hours, without having even seen a nurse, while I bled out) It turns out, they
were not told why I was there, and thought I was there for "stomach pain"
Upon walking in and hearing what had happened, the doctor stood dumbfounded. He
pulled the sheet over me back to do a V.E, and saw how bad I was hemhorraging.
He immediatly ran out of the room, ordered pain medicine, and more IV fluids,
and a medicine to help stop my bleeding. He also asked about the baby. The
entire time, the paramedics had left her in a specimen bag beside my bed. I was
sobbing so hard at this point that I
couldn't talk, and was so dizzy the room was spinning, so Blaine filled him in. He
apologized profusely. After they finally got my bleeding under control, I was
allowed to leave, and we set up an appointment for the next day for an OB/GYN
for a d and c. She did the exam, and
determined since everything came out intact, that it wasn't nessicary, and
prescribed iron since I was anemic after loosing so much blood. I also found
out, that not only was I pregnant, and not known it, I had had a second
trimester loss at 16 weeks. That is why my little girl was so big, and
perfectly formed. I couldn't even stand
going back to my apartment, and couldn't walk without intense pain and
dizziness, so I stayed with Blaine. He made me fall in love with him all over
again the next few weeks. He wouldn't even let me shower without him being in
there because i was so dizzy, and a fall risk.
He took amazing care of me, and got me back to health. I will never
forget that, and even now, remembering how caring he was, brings tears to my
eyes. After several weeks, when I was
finally able to move around without dizziness, and getting my strength back, I
decided I had to go clean my apartment. I had no idea what kind of condition it
was left in, but knew it was going to be pretty bad. It was bad enough that my
mattress was deemed a "biohazard" and was taken off. The pools of blood were everywhere. I thank
God Blaine went with me, because i broke down seeing the blood everywhere. He
helped me clean it up, and then took me back to his apartment, and let me lie in
bed all day,and held me as I sobbed. The next morning, I decided I couldn't
live in my apartment anymore, and would have to move. Even cleaned up, the
stains were a constant reminder and it was still to fresh in my mind. I told
Blaine this, and he told me to just stay there, and his roomate moved into my
apartment, and we sort of switched apartments. That night, he said he wanted to
get back together, and I agreed. We continued to grow closer and closer.
