Well, then end of "us" finally came...kind of.

We have finally decided to divorce. Well, I guess I need to rephrase. HE decided we needed to divorce, while I am still hanging on because I love him, and wanting to work things out...I do agree our relationship/marriage needed a drastic change, but in all honesty, I would have preferred to REALLY try counseling. We have gone ONCE before in 6 years, and neither one of us went into the session with the right attitude. But I guess there isn't much use even talking about it anymore, since he has apparently made up his mind. I miss him daily, but at the same time, things have been so much less chaotic, and I feel better, even though I miss him, and would love to try to work it out. Things had gotten really bad, worse than I even realized, and BOTH of us were miserable. I would never want to go back to that though. He has this plan to be "friends" and completely start over. And even though it hurts like hell, because I do love him, I guess at this point I am willing to try anything. But the first step is going to take me getting over and letting go of the hurt I feel over HOW he left, which is coming up in a different blog. For now, I am emotionally exahusted and gonna go curl up, have a shower and a mixed drink, and try to put the pieces of my heart back together. Night all.