I don't know how much more I can take of this emotional drama all the damn time. It's absolutely ridiculous. He has so many different moods that I NEVER know where I stand with him. It's taking so much out of me that I just feel numb anymore. Numb to when he decides he wants more than what he has been giving me, and trys to hug and kiss on me. And numb when he changes his mind and decides to be an ass, or be "mad" about whatever bullshit reason he comes up with it.
I don't feel much of ANYthing anymore but love for my kid. I have an offer on the table from a real man, one who would treat me and my kid AMAZINGLY, and because of my husband, I can't even make myself feel anything towards the other guy who I know if I COULD make myself let go of what I feel for my husband, that would make Nathan and I really really happy. But I can't let go of what I have been keeping inside for so damn long.
And I don't feel anything for ANYone but my child. I think I need a therapist and a psychiatrist. Somehow in these past few years, something in me just SNAPPED after all of the verbal and emotional abuse I have been put through and I think this is stronger than anything I could overcome on my own....
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