Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Who he used to be...

I know anyone reading this has got to be like, ok, so if he is like this, why in the HELL did you stay, and why do you still love him. I can understand that. And I have asked that same question to myself many many times. But here's the answer:
I may not love the man he is now. As a matter of a fact, I very much dislike the man he is today. But the man he USED TO BE, is what kept me hanging on. The man that used to send me sweet things, just because he had a kind heart. The man who sent me roses just because. The man who sent me goodmorning texts. And randomly would tell me I was beautiful, especially when I didn't feel it and needed it the most. The man who laid beside me as I cried ALL night long when we lost our first child, and who even helped me shower, and even brush my hair  afterwards when I was so weak from blood loss that I couldn't stand without being dizzy.
I honestly don't know what happened to that man. I LOVED that man with everything in me. How could it be such a drastic change? What went wrong, and what happened to make him be like this? So cold, and mean-spirited when he used to be the sweetest man I knew? It makes me really sad to think of that man, because I haven't seen that man in a really long time in my husband....
Anyway, here's an example of the man he used to be. He sent me this on our wedding day.

                  Hey. I justed wanted to wish you a good day tomm. I know the last couple of days have been more than pleasant. I'm sorry about all that. We both were just clashing. I still love you though. I want to spend my entire life with you. You make me so happy. You make me smile. You're gone at work all day and when you walk into the door, my heart skips a beat because of how much I missed you!! I know I can be an asshole, but you're still here. Thank you. We've been through so much in the last few years but we made it. We finally got offically married and have the rest of our lives to make each other happy. Relationships are hard. Everyone knows that, and I'm willing and ready to go through all the hell a marriage has just to be with you.I LOVE YOU, BABYGIRL. I'm so happy to have you as my wife! You make me smile. Even when we are in some stupid ass fight, I'm still happy and know I made a WONDERFUL choice in marrying you. Nobody else could EVER make me as happy as you do. Thank you  for being here with me and I promise to love you in sickness and in health. For richer or poorer and NEVER do us part. Even in death I will always be yours. I love you Mrs. Brand. :) Have a great day at work and don't let those losers you work with get you down. They are just jealous that you have a man at home that loves you and would die for you.

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