Loving myself means letting him go...

Tonight, he halfway roped me back in with his depression. I can't stand to see him like that. He was so sad, and even cried, and all of these feelings rushed to me. He kept telling me he loves me, but never once did he even say he was sorry for what he did and said.

But I don't really think he loves ME. At least he doesn't love me the way I am. His love is conditional. It is conditional as long as I don't piss him off. And I can't fix that for him. I can't make him see how it hurts me. I can't make him see how every single time he does that, it has just scarred a piece of my heart until the point that I don't FEEL like I used to anymore. I don't cry over him anymore. I can't bring myself to even feel the happy, lovely amazing feelings he used to give me anymore, without thinking that he doesn't really mean what he is saying, because tomorrow, I will be a fat, ugly bitch whom he hates, so him being sweet momentarily doesn't even affect me like it used to anymore.